Young World - November 2012
Message To Parents
Let’s make one thing perfectly clear right up front. The teenage WORLD is
entirely different from the adult world. Just in case you (adults, parents, grandparents,
teachers, aunts, uncles, etc.) have forgotten where your mind was or where your hands
were when you were still in school – here’s a reminder; it had nothing to do with
retirement, mortgages or home repairs. As adults, we are quick to accept the whole
Mars/Venus theory about Men and Women, but what about a theory describing the
differences between young people and adults. What if we say that young people are
“trees” and adults are “landscapers”? (Huh?!?)
As trees, some young people will grow tall very quickly without a firm root
system. Others will grow and expand but they grow tall very slowly. Still, there are
other trees planted close to the house and trimmed regularly so that they only grow to a
certain height or shape. Some trees bear fruit or flowers, occasionally both. Regardless
of its anticipated width, height, strength, appearance or location, every tree needs
certain elements in order to flourish. Obviously, different trees need elements in
varying quantities and at different times. The question at hand is, “What does the tree
in your yard need?” After all, your hands planted the tree. For years, you provided just
the right amount of light, nutrients and shelter. As a parent, remember when it was
“easy” to care for your kids – you held ‘em when they were upset, you hugged ‘em just
because and you kissed ‘em whenever you walked away from them. (Why did you stop
giving your tree the elements it needs?)
You may no longer see your child as one who NEEDS you. But, how does your
child see himself? How does she view your role in her life? A 4 or 5-year old tree is no
longer a weak sapling. But, it continues to need the same elements a sapling needs.
Young children have similar needs as infants and toddlers, which coincidentally are the
same needs that teens and pre-teens have.
As the landscaper responsible for providing the proper nourishment and
elements to help the tree grow to reach a strong and healthy state, parents should not be
so quick to assume that young saplings are ready to embrace nature on their own
because of the size of the tree trunk or the fruit hanging off the vine. A good storm will
test the sturdiness of the root system. A strong wind will let you know which trees still
need to be tied down for support or given extra warmth during the cold season.
If this whole “tree thing” has you lost or confused, just know this. As a parent,
never stop loving your babies like you did when they were babies. They may not tell you
or show you that they need it. Just trust and believe that even the big babies, can be big
babies when they don’t feel a parents’ love. Be Young! Have Fun!
Columnist Chris Dinkins is an educator and native South Carolinian. His viewpoint is based on
personal, classroom and volunteer experiences. Send questions and comments about youth related issues
to him at youngworld.scarolina@gmail.com.
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